If your head isn’t shoved too far up your ass, you’ve probably heard that many people, ladies in particular, don’t appreciate being called at in the street. ”I’m doing my best not to be the proverbial Nice Guy, or the asshole yelling incomprehensibly out of a car,” you say. “Sometimes, I would really like to let a stranger know that I like something about them, though! How do I do that without being a creep?” Well! Here’s an example from something that happened to vessellated and me the other day. We were walking up the street past some cars stopped at a light. This one dude in his car proceeded to:
- Wave at us enthusiastically
- Wait until we had slowed down and obviously given him our attention, before
- Rolling down his window and cheerily telling us he liked our (colourful) jeans
This guy used friendly rather than aggressive non-verbal communication, waited for us to initiate further contact, and complimented our fashion rather than our bodies. He made himself an appealing person to interact with, and showed respect for us. He focused on something we do, not a passive attribute of our bodies, framing us as people, not objects.
Did this guy think we were hot? Was he secretly thinking scandalously graphic sexual things about us? I don’t know! I don’t really care! He certainly didn’t think it was vital for us to know his opinion regarding our fuckability! It was just a pleasant interaction that made us feel good! And, what’s more, that’s the kind of behaviour that might actually lead to me striking up a conversation with a person. Maybe even get my flirt on, if I were single.
Aim to be like this dude, and you’ll soon find yourself able to compliment people right, left, and centre!
That part where, after you make an opening social sally, you wait for the other person(s) to acknowledge and turn their attention on you before you continue, is SO KEY. And if your attempt to attract their attention results in them ignoring you, TAKE THAT AS THE COMMUNICATION IT IS and leave them alone. Another day, they might be in the mood to hear the opinions of or make smalltalk with a stranger - if you respect their right to decline such interactions today.